August 02, 2016 at 10:12PM

Dear Sleep Tech;
Kate is always cold. Even in summer, She sleeps under at least one, and often two, thick comforters. By 3 or 4 AM, she’s usually hovering around room temperature, and her extremities are @#$ corpselike.

You think she’s not cold, but trust me, after 20 years of sleeping next to her, she’s entirely endothermic. Cats won’t sleep on her because she’s not warm enough. Microprocessor manufacturers are studying her elemental composition for heat sinks. Governments have requested she move to the poles to slow the melting of the ice caps.

She’s not screwing with you.

Thanks, via Facebook
via IFTTT

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