I was on vacation and forgot to post this, but I did have a Hot Dog in a Bun.
Malaclypse, How was Last Friday Different from All Other Fridays?
In the Fifth Year of The Caterpillar, the Apostle Zarathud did write the sacred Pentabarf:
“III – A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day:
of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday),
of Judaism (no meat of Pork),
of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef),
of Buddhists (no meat of animal),
and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).
IV – A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.”
But on this Friday, the Stars shall come right for Optimizations. Becuase we are Multicultural and Inclusive, and Totally Doubling Down on This Whole Thing; on this Friday which is also Good Friday and Passover, we shall festoon our Hot Dog in a Hot Dog Bun with the Chili; and with the Cheese; and with the Bacon and the Weird Watery Onions in Small Packets That Come From Gas Stations.Literall
And it shall be a hot dog that mixes the pork and and the beef and the chicken. For are not the birds of the air delicious, like unto the creatures of the land?
And these shall be of the cheapest sort, produced in a factory with poor quality control, to increase the odds that it shall contain people parts; Lo! is it not proclaimed: “Five to one, baby; One in five; No one here gets out alive”
Let the Chili be likewise of low character, and let it be Vegetarian, containing many beans and much of the Tofu and of TVP, that it shall upset the Texans in their fragility, and the Vegetarians in their silliness.
Let the cheese be artificailly colored and of individually wrapped slices, for we must not forget the Hippies and the Greens. For this reason, too, let the onions be the Weird Watery Onions in Small Packets That Come From Gas Stations.
Upon these sprinkle the Joyous and Excessive Quantities of Bacon, for it is through the Bacon that we shall die sooner than we ought, and happier than we have a right to. And also, because fuck health food, that’s why.
These things shalt thou place in a Hot Dog Bun of white bread, that it shall have no nutritional content for the body, but by these means do we ensure that the flesh is preserved unto the ages, while the Spirit of Irreverance fortifies our pitutitary glands, and Inflames our Bowels.
WIECZNY KWIAT WŁADZY,
Fr. Hirsutus the Unshorn via Facebook
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